Young Hearts Run Free

I quit my job. I cut my hair. I sold half my wardrobe at a bootsale. I've gone out with my friends as much as possible. I've relaxed. I've never laughed so much in my life.

I feel like I've neglected my blog lately, just having the sporadic half heart posted every now and then. It's probably due to the fact that before I quit my job in PR I was going through a bit of a rough patch. Nothing major, but that office was slowly taking my soul! There'd be times when I loved it, and really felt I excelled at helping manage events, and loved the excitement and buzz that some days had. I met amazing people; made amazing contacts. Everyone I worked with on events had the loveliest things to say about me and were genuinely impressed with how hard I worked and how confident I was. However, the majority of the office thought otherwise. It felt like every day I was being called a fucking idiot, or being told I'm shit at this, shit at that. Being 19 years old and working 8.30am to 7 / 8pm was pretty hardcore for me at times. Oh, and lunch break? Forget it. If you went for your full hour it was considered a liberty.

I lasted long 8 months. While I was there I saw interns quit after a week, so I feel genuinely proud of how long I stuck it out for, even though to most people that probably seems like nothing. All the interns would ask me how I managed to come in smiling everyday after they saw me being shouted at all the time for things that were completely irrelevant to me and were in no way shape or form my fault at all. I just ignored it. But after a while I realised I shouldn't put up with it, even though I never really took it personally and can cope pretty well when being shouted at inches from my face, I thought to myself no one else would put up with this. What 19 year old needs a job where you always find yourself crying in the office bathroom? That's just pathetic. Just crying thinking of the work load, having to please 20 people that were all saying their press cutting was priority, or their research was, their databases. Not enough hours in the day. Oh the coffee machine is broken, we're out of kitchen roll, we're out of sugar, why is there a stain on the floor, where's the celetape, I need scissors, go to the post office for me, deliver this, ring this number, answer the door, book a courier.

One night there was a power cut at around 5 o'clock, and all our computers shut down. Everyone was so relieved and started packing up their stuff as there wasn't much else they could do. I was so happy because it meant getting home by 6 and having time to get ready for my friend's birthday party. Sounds like an immature thing to want but I'd missed so many birthdays because I've been late or tired or crying! But as if this would be any different... As everyone was leaving the manager said she had a bone to pick with me about the press books. The press books that an intern had been organising. She'd done it all wrong and I had to sit there for 2 hours correcting it? Whilst being insulted the entire time... I have no idea why I didn't just get up and leave, I really should have. But I just sat there because to be honest I wasn't even listening to her, I just wanted to get the job done and get out. In the end she said "Just leave. Looking at your face is so fucking frustrating" after repeatedly calling me a "glorifed cleaner". Confidence boost or what! So I left, shut the door, burst into tears. Literally uncontrollable tears, like a toddler having a tantrum. I got home. Got dressed within minutes and arrived at my friend's and the cabs were already there. One of my friend's Josh asked me why I looked so stressed and I just said "I'm quitting my job tomorrow".

Got in the cab, got in the club, got ridicously drunk. It was an amazing night! Everyone was really happy, and I hadn't seen everyone from my sixthform and my secondary school all together in so long. Was lovely. Every person I saw I would tell them that I was quitting my job... And I woke up at 7 the next day and thought there's no point backing out! I got to work about 8.20, still in last nights make up, and said I wanted to leave. There was a lot of faffing around and asking if I'm sure I'm making the right decision and what jobs are there that need to be done etc etc and eventually the manager went into the boardroom to talk to someone and I basically just ran out... Turned my phone off, got on the train and was over whelmed with happiness!

So, sorry about this unusually long and probably boring post but I had to get that off my chest!

I've literally had a new lease of life lately! I just ended up thinking, I'm young, I don't need such  a ridiculously stressful job! I came away happy with what I'd learnt, though. I honestly learnt so much there. I already had thick skin before I started, but now it's ten times that. But in the end, that job was just torture! The two weeks I've had since I quit have been so refreshing! Obviously I've been on the hunt for another job but in between that I've seen friends, relaxed, gone all the way to Kingston just for the night with my friend to meet her travelling friends, gone to my friend's holiday home, and actually had time to go to the gym, just things that most 19 year olds should be doing. Though I am exciting to get back into work and start earning again!

So that sums it up pretty much... I promise my future posts will be a lot more exciting! One last thing, to my previous employers;

Screw you!

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